There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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