Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
