Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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