JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
