If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
