I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
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She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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