yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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