Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
