i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
