I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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