no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
