I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Just high enough for therapy.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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