dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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