like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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