There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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