Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
