he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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