suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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