your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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