do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
