I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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