Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
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please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
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Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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