is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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