my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
