that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
