Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
