There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
