Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Success! We fucked roommates!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
