What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
