I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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