Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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