his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
