Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
