you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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