I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
