...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
