just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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