people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
