R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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