Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
