Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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