K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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