trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
