And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Randomize
