just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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