Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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