wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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