we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
