your parents love me but you hate me
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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