Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
