? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
