Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
