He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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