I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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