bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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