My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
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He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
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We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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