There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
