took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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