all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
